My Very Dear Friend

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A very dear friend passed a few weeks ago, nine months after she was diagnosed with an inoperable terminal illness.

She firmly believed in an afterlife. She believed our soul was on a journey of learning, that we choose our life path before we come, and she also believed she would find her miracle moment and survive.

But she didn’t. She tried, but she never found it. She wasn’t afraid of death, but she didn’t want to go either. She fought it to the end. And that’s how it is for all of us. Our love of life and will to live is strong. Giving in to death is not easy, but it’s what we all must face. And if we are lucky, we get the peaceful passing that we all hope and wish for.

I knew when she was diagnosed that this was her chosen exit strategy, and deep down, so did she. I also knew the day after she passed that she was gone. I was standing in the kitchen peeling vegetables when I had the strongest feeling that she had left, and I thought, ‘so you are there and now you know’.

You see, she was fascinated by what happens after we leave this earthly plane. She had researched the subject for many years. It was, in fact, her favourite topic of conversation. She read and reread the same books. She immersed herself in every little detail of it. It was almost as if she willed herself to go there – she wanted to find out so badly.

So, my very dear friend, the friend who is part of my soul family is gone. The friend I will always love, think about and hold dear.

She was strong, bossy, very direct, and always said what she thought. Not a shrinking violet. But she was also a worrier. She worried because she cared. And she was bossy because she cared. And she was forthright because she cared. She reached out to others with a compassionate heart. She was a loyal, loving person.

A friend for over 42 years and I am going to miss her.

But it was her choice. We never pass unless it’s with the understanding and agreement on the highest level of our soul. This was her soul choice, and I understand.

We are all, every single one of us, part of All That Is – the Source Energy from which we come, and part of my soul is there with her now for we are never parted from it.

So, till we meet again on this earthly plane, I hold you in my heart, my very dear friend.

© Inara Hawley 2016

Releasing the Burden

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I love energy work. I am connected to it, I feel it, and I’ve worked with it. And some time back, I decided to have a session with an energy healer.

It was a surprise to say the least. As I had no pressing concerns or issues, I left it to her to connect with any blocked energy that needed releasing, so I had no idea what was coming. She immediately zoned in on an energy relating to indigenous injustice, something I’ve always felt strongly about. I recall many years ago writing a paper on the very same subject with tears streaming down my face at the unfairness of it all. While I’ve always had powerful emotions about the issue, it has not affected my daily life or happiness in any way. However, as the session progressed, I felt my energy shift. As the ‘burdened’ energy fell away, I was surprised to realise that energetically, I had been carrying a painful grievance that didn’t belong to me. It was profound. I realised I was connected to the plight and not the joy. At the end of the session my energy felt quite different ~ light and more expansive, and while the situation hasn’t changed, my energy towards it has, which is a very good thing for both them and me.

Releasing the Burden - Sunday Musings

So, the end result? It didn’t change my life, but it has sharpened my awareness, and without doubt lightened an issue which was sitting heavily on my heart. One which I didn’t realise was weighing me down. I now see the situation in its best light which, of course, is both healing and positive, and how I prefer to see it.

While, for me, the session was emotional at times and energetically very full-on as I really felt the energy flying around, it was extremely interesting to experience the shift. Over the years, I have trained myself to focus on the positive aspect of all things, and I know that my positive energy is uplifting, helpful and healing ~ it’s my gift to myself and others. I also know that I get what I focus on, so I am mindful of my words, thoughts, and energy, not only for myself but also for what I am focusing on. However, in this instance, I felt very deeply the pain of others, and it seems it had stayed with me energetically for many years. Any energy shift changes things, and this has, yet again, reinforced the value of not sitting in the pit of a problem ~ not gluing yourself to it with your sorry feelings, or allowing yourself to be consumed by the fire of negativity or drama. That doesn’t help one bit.

Anything we give our attention to connects us to the essence of it, and I always want that connection to be positive and loving. Purposely lining up with the energy which uplifts is what creates a positive flow. I am committed to being part of the upliftment for myself, the Planet and the Universe. I know my vibration makes a difference, and I want it to be joyful and free of burden. That is why I had the session, and I am grateful.

Inara Hawley © 2015

Are You For or Against?

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Are you a ‘For’ or an ‘Against’ person? We all want to make a difference in this world, however, it’s important to know what we are actually focusing on when we make the decision to support something or direct, powerful and passionate thoughts towards a cause, because there is a distinct difference between being for or against it.

Like everyone, I have a rant every now and again. I know it’s a negative stance. We all do it, but pushing against something doesn’t resolve a thing. It’s unproductive, resistant and focuses on what we don’t like about a given situation. But here’s the thing, any attention we give to something means we are choosing it, and the Universe doesn’t discriminate between ‘like’ and ‘don’t like’. It just gives us what we focus on. It’s very basic stuff, but an important concept to understand if we want positive outcomes. We all know it ~ where focus goes energy flows.

Are You For or Against - Sunday Musings

While resistance is a great marker for what we do actually want, being against something ~ pushing against an unwanted thing never gets rid of it. What we are doing is vibrating with the resistant energy which then keeps us apart from what we really want. Pushing against something activates it. And the harder we push, the more we vibrate with it and the more of it we get, which makes us more resistant, angry, frustrated, fearful, and even adversarial. A vicious circle, isn’t it?

Our emotions are our guidance system. When we are in a resistant state we’re not aligning with the outcome we want. However, we can diffuse it by making a decision to look for the best-feeling aspects of whatever we give our attention to. This puts us in a place of much greater allowance. For instance, if we are always ‘anti’ war, we are focused on war, but if we are ‘for’ peace, then we are focusing on peace. Interesting isn’t it. There is a big difference. So, we can either be for something or against it. Either way, it will be our prominent vibration.

So, are you sending the right message when you are passionately against something? Are you really focusing on what you want? Being passionately for what you want is a much more positive vibration don’t you think? So be for the joy and the good ~ vibrate with what floats your boat. The Universe will notice, send it right back to you.

Inara Hawley © 2015

The Pleasure of Manifesting

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When I looked out of the window this morning I saw our two cats sunning themselves on the deck, and twenty-five sheep being unloaded and returned to our nicely regenerated paddock after a spell of two months. Hubby and I had really missed them, and I felt a surge of joy, to see them back. We both get immense pleasure in having animals around us, particularly these animals. Why? Because they were the ones that found us. Let me tell you the story.

Sunday Musings - The Pleasure of Manifesting

We’ve always had dogs and cats. However, for the few short years when we lived on a residential block before moving back to acreage, we didn’t have any animals and I really felt the loss. I recall looking down when I was working at my desk and thinking how lovely it would be to have a furry little bundle at my feet. I knew it wasn’t the right time, but I wished for it anyway. It made me feel good. So when we finally got to our beloved acres again, the first thing I thought about was getting that furry little bundle and perhaps, some miniature goats for our paddock. But three things held me back from rushing headlong into doing anything about it: we lived on a busy road, our fences weren’t secure, and we had no experience with small-herd animals.

While these appeared to be stumbling blocks, I didn’t really give them much thought. What I did think about, was how nice it would be to see animals in the paddock and how wonderful it would be to have a pet again. I didn’t consider the ‘how’ or the ‘when’. Whenever I thought about it, I imagined it, and then immersed myself in the delight and pleasure of it happening one day without feeling any resistance. And then I let it go. My job was to hold the happy thought vibration and trust that all was well. The rest was up to the Universe. I was sure it would sort itself out.

And as always, the Universe delivered! But surprisingly, it wasn’t how you would expect. First, we discovered we had a very pretty, young feral cat living in the old gnarly hedge at the side of the house. Then she had kittens. Then one day the daddy cat, a very skinny, scruffy-looking black stray almost on his last legs, arrived. To make a long story short, we re-homed the babies, sorted out mummy and daddy so there wouldn’t be any more babies, and after a long worrying week at the vet and lots of pampering indoors, we got daddy back to health. We now have two beautiful cats, one who lives outside and is getting brave enough to allow us to pat her, and the other one is the furry little bundle that sleeps at my feet. Both of them are terrified of cars so the busy road is not something which attracts them ~ that was the first stumbling block which dissipated into thin air.

Sunday Musings ~ The Pleasure of Manifesting

Sunday Musings - The Pleasure of ManifestingAnd what about the empty paddock you ask? Well, then we had a paddock fire. That was very dramatic, but the next morning, a neighbour knocked on our door and offered us his sheep to keep the grass down. And he even went to the trouble of securing the fences. That was the second stumbling block gone. We’ve now had the small flock of twenty-five roaming our paddock for nearly two years, and we love it. The Universe delivered yet again, and we never did have to learn anything about how to look after herd animals. Sheep Man does it all. All we do is enjoy them. That was the third stumbling block gone as well.

So as you can see, there really were no stumbling blocks. There never are, when we focus on the pleasure of what we want, and allow it to unfold with ease and flow. And that is indeed how it all happened. The animals came to us without any effort on our part. We truly are the creators of what we want. It starts with desire ~ that’s the asking part. Then the trick is to vibrate in harmony with the pleasure of it, trusting that everything will happen as it should, in perfect order and in perfect time. No matter what it is, if you really want it, and if you relax and get out of the way, it will happen. That’s something I know for sure!

Inara Hawley © 2015

The Footprints We Leave Behind

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This past week a beautiful earth angel, my dear friend, Judiann Davies-Keasey, made her transition. Because she was also a dear friend to many others, there has been a massive outpouring of sadness and love at her passing, and my thoughts turned to the amazing footprint she has left behind in everyone’s heart.

Sunday Musing - The Footprints We Leave BehindJudiann had many hard times in her life, and having worked through them she had great empathy. She reached out to anyone who needed love and support, and in doing so inspired so many. She was not afraid to share her journey or her feelings for she knew it would help others. Her heart was truly open and she was wholly present in the space of love, compassion, and forgiveness. She found her power in loving, giving and uplifting others.

We all have our circle of friends, but how often do we tell them how precious they are to us? How wonderful? How special? How loved? Judiann told all of her friends every single day. She never missed an opportunity to say ‘I love you’. She had reached that ultimate positive place where she enhanced all those whose life she touched.

Her legacy is love. How often did she call me a precious angel? How often did she thank me for just being me and then go on to tell me I was special? She did it every time we connected. She may have left her physical body, but she has left behind something so incredibly empowering ~ her unconditional love and her generous spirit.

The footprint we leave behind has nothing to do with the ‘perfect’ life. It’s not about what we look like. It’s not about what we do for a living or what we have. It’s about what shines from our heart and how that makes us and others feel. Judiann helped so many to love themselves ~ she listened, she understood, she supported, she guided, she uplifted. She was a blessing in their lives when they needed a friend. It was her mission.

She will be missed, but her love is not gone. When I received the news of her sudden passing I could not hold back the tears. But in an instant I heard, “I’m alright, I love you”. And of course she is alright. She is home in the loving stream of pure source energy and I uplift her with as much love as she gave. The love connection she created is so powerful that while I will miss her, I don’t feel a sense of loss. Her footprint will forever live in my heart, and I encourage all those reading this to pick up the baton of love and compassion, and run with it. Don’t ever miss a chance to say, ‘I love you’.

Judiann finished her journey on earth without regrets, and continues on as the vibrant light of love that she was in this life. In uplifting others, she uplifted herself. She trusted the power of love. In her own words, ‘Real love never dies … it even survives beyond the living.’

We will all leave our own unique footprint. I hope mine will be synonymous with the love and joy I feel in my heart. What will your footprint be?

Inara Hawley © 2014

There Are No Accidents

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There are no accidents. Knowing what I know now, I believe that to be a true statement, for when we live with awareness, we will always find the connection, the reason or the lesson.

Twenty one years ago I had a car accident, one which changed my life forever. It was the biggest learning curve of my life, and today I am all the wiser for it. The years of dealing with a severe injury was where my greatest lessons lived ~ in the pain, the panic, the fear, the anger, the frustration, the despair, and in the will to keep going. And the instant it happened I knew ~ when the car stopped spinning, and I was able to get out, I looked at the wreck and said aloud, “What do I have to learn from this?” And learn I did … for year and years.

My body fell apart a few weeks later ~ one night I awoke and couldn’t breathe. The twisted metal of the car seat should have been a clue. It was so badly damaged it could not be repaired, and for a very long time it seemed my body may not be able to be repaired either. I was in constant pain, I couldn’t get a proper breath, I could barely walk, I couldn’t use my arms … I couldn’t do anything ~ I was trapped. Everything which represented who I was … was gone. Instead, every fibre of my being was focused on surviving the next second … and the next … and the next. It was so intense, if a bomb had gone off next to me I wouldn’t have noticed. I was no longer the nurturing mother, the supportive wife, the doer, the giver, the loyal friend, the keeper of my house, the achiever, the university student, or the partner in our family business. Except for my will to survive I was stripped bare.

About ten years after the accident I started writing a book, the purpose of which was to help others going through a similar experience. In the early years an acquaintance, one of those good people who throw you a lifeline when you need it most, lent me exactly such a book written by a man who had survived a serious car accident. At the time his words were a godsend ~ someone out there actually understood what I was going through. An injury such as mine, with massive soft tissue damage, long term inflammation, and no broken bones or outward signs of injury, is hard to deal with. I would imagine it is very similar to depression, asthma or rheumatoid arthritis … invisible to those around you, but always the silent companion walking beside you. It never complains out loud, only you know it’s there. And because there are no bandages, the support you so desperately need is not there. Not because no one cares, but because no one notices or understands. Only the closest ones know, and while they do their best, even they cannot share your journey.

Today I am too far removed from the events to ever finish the book. I have no desire to call myself a survivor, nor do I wish to revisit those desperate times of panic, struggle and uncertainty. I define myself by what I’ve learned, not by the struggle. I worked through each step with purpose and determination, and have no desire to step back into yesterday’s emotions. When I look back at my journals they are harrowing ~ my despair and isolation was overpowering, but so was my hope, my strength and my courage. If I had not been such a positive person I might have given up, but I didn’t. I was determined to get better. I have always believed that I could heal myself, both on a physical and spiritual level, and I was prepared to explore anything and everything to get there. I saw doctors, specialists, spiritual healers and every kind of alternative therapist you could imagine. For the first three years I had physical therapy every day except Sunday. It was my safety net. But ultimately, it was when my head space changed that the journey changed.

One day I stopped fighting. In a moment of utter desperation I heard myself scream, “Die now or get better!”. I had challenged the Universe and fully expected to be struck down, but it didn’t happen, and that’s when I surrendered. I let go of resistance and instantly changed the vibration. I stopped focusing on the pain and the struggle.

The next few years were a mind-blowing time. I left no stone unturned in my quest to open my mind and my heart, and connect to the healing energy within. I meditated myself into oblivion. I created affirmations, recorded them for my meditations, worked on releasing cell trauma, imagined a better quality of life where I could move and breath freely and easily, aligned myself with ease and flow, and saw myself as ‘new’. I also discovered deep tissue laser therapy, and that was like a magic key. It broke down the scar tissue, and allowed a courageous therapist, one who had the guts to do what was needed no matter how painful, to put everything back in its place. Slowly I started to improve. And in the years that followed I finished my university degree, taught in a classroom, was able to get back into our business, and bit by bit create a garden. I was holding it together, and I was getting better.

It took fifteen years to get to a place where my body felt reasonably stable ~ where I had more good days than bad, where I could get a decent night’s sleep, and where I felt well enough to plan for something in the knowledge that I would be able to fulfil it. I still have to pace myself, but now I am able to do many of the things I once took for granted … simple things which fill me with immense appreciation and gratitude.

So what did I learn and what did I change? I learned to look after myself first ~ to pay attention to my body. I learned to ask for help, and I let go of being the eternal fixer-upper. I examined my beliefs, and let go of fear and perfection. I learned to trust on the highest level. I learned to validate what someone is going through ~ to honour their strength and courage. I also created a peaceful place within, one which I can go to anytime. I learned to find the joy and live in the moment, and I connected to the infinite source of love.

It’s in the dark night of the soul that we reach out to touch what we need to move into the oneness of the light, and that’s exactly what I did. And if we are brave enough to be truly honest with ourselves, the steps we take forward will be sure-footed, and we will find the right path. This is a poem I wrote about a year after the accident, when one day, my mother said to me, “Insi, you are very brave”. And I thought, yes I am. It’s simple but expresses exactly how I felt at the time.

I Am Very Brave

I am very brave
For I want to save
My body, my mind
Not leave it behind
To see a new day
With the pain gone away
Is where I will be
Just wait and see

I am very brave
I don’t hide in a cave
I go forth and try
With my head held high
I won’t give in
For me that’s a sin
My body can make it
It’s just hard to take it

I am very brave
Even when I rant and rave
Then I yell and scream
Till I run out of steam
I feel lonely and sad
Sometimes it’s so bad
My body hurts so much
That I just lose touch

I am very brave
For I choose to behave
Like I can cope
And I don’t mope
It’s been so hard
From my life I’ve been barred
I hate being trapped
But it’s like its been mapped

I am very brave
I’m in touch with a wave
That helps me to flow
And cope with the blow
I’ve learned many things
It’s like I’ve grown wings
Sometimes I feel I could fly
Right up to the sky

I am very brave
For now I don’t crave
To have what is past
I feel safe at last
I’ve let go of the fear
That made things unclear
I now dance with the ‘All’
And I know I won’t fall

I am very brave
For I know what to save
Often I wondered
And sometimes I blundered
But with the love of those dear
My path is now clear
This moment’s the one
To feel joy and fun

I am very brave
For now I behave
How I really feel
And it’s no big deal
To myself I am true
For me, and for you
I know I can do it
I will get through it

Inara Hawley © 2014

 

Tennis Anyone?

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For me the phrase ‘Tennis anyone?’ has always conjured up a mental picture of clear blue skies, white outfits, sun visor caps, and hitting a few balls around the court. However, the real fact of the matter is that there are those who ‘really’ play tennis, and those who don’t, and there are good reasons why.

When hubby and I were first married, we decided to get fit … as you do when you’re young and energetic, and tennis was how we chose to do it. Hubby had played quite a lot of it in his younger days, and as it had been my chosen summer sport in high school, we figured tennis was definitely for us. So with the court booked for a daily hit, off we trotted every morning at 7 a.m. sharp with balls and rackets in tow, and looking very sharp in our tennis gear.

And we loved it! Full of morning energy we’d get out there and serve with confidence, relishing that sound the ball makes after it hits the racket. And then we’d tear around the court trying to hit it at the other end. We thought we were doing really well. We’d arrive home hot and sweaty, jump into the shower, and because we felt so terrific after running around for an hour, we’d say to each other, ‘Wasn’t that great!’ Oh yes, we were playing tennis!

Then one morning, about a week or so later, the owner of the courts sauntered over as we were leaving, and with a good natured good-morning nod said, “I’ve been watching you two!” And then as he slowly shook his head from side to side, the look on his face said it all. Obviously we weren’t doing nearly as well as we thought ~ we needed lessons, and the very next day we were hitting balls that were flying at us from a machine!

But that became very boring, as did the game of tennis, and we soon gave it up. Why? Because for us there was no sense of healthy competition! Not the kind where you want to wipe others out at all cost and win; the kind where you get a spark to try harder. Hubby and I have certainly never been in competition with each other. We are partners, both in marriage and business, and our partnership has always been built on teamwork. In how we operated our business, however, we always had that competitive edge. But unfortunately, tennis just didn’t do it for us.

Tennis Anyone - competitive spirit.While plenty of people will say otherwise, having a healthy competitive spirit can be a good thing. As I have intimated, I’m not talking about comparing yourself with others or competing for a trophy. I’m talking about using it to challenge ourselves, learn, grow and move forward. Of course we learn and grow in many ways, and healthy competition is but one. On a spiritual level, there is no competition, but in our everyday lives, it is not only a natural thing, it can be extremely useful. It can create incentive and be motivational, energising a fire within that helps us do better, take a chance and even try something new. It can also help us be more creative and inventive, and in so doing, it spurs innovation.

Even in the most competitive environment, if we stay true to high ethical standards while seeking our goal, then competition can be a very healthy growth experience. It helps to set benchmarks and encourages progress. Without it, where would civilization be?

So, there was no ‘game, set, and match’ in our tennis experience. If someone was to say: ‘Tennis anyone?’ I don’t think we would even bother to look up, but give us a challenge where we could tickle our competitive spirit, and we’d feel right at home. We’d play that game very well indeed and have loads of fun doing it too!

Inara Hawley © 2014